Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Vagina Dentata in the real world: The anti-rape condom with teeth

AntiRapet001 200x300 Vagina Dentata in the real world: The anti rape condom with teethVagina dentata, Latin for a vagina with teeth, has been in folklore for hundreds of years. Most recently, it appeared in the horror flick, ‘Teeth’.


Now, a South African doctor has unveiled a product to almost bring the tale to life in an attempt to stop rape. The product is called Rape-aXe and effectively, it is a condom that will bite a rapist’s dick off.


The product is “a device which latches itself to the skin of the attacker, causing immense discomfort, allowing the victim to escape”. The official press release continues: “The attacker is ‘branded’ a rapist! Since the attacker will need medical assistance, there is no escaping arrest since medical staff will alert the authorities.”


Apparently, the condom clasps itself to the attacker, leaving him unable to piss or walk. If he tries to remove it, it will grip even tighter. The latex sheath contains razor-sharp barbs and once they’ve sunk into a rapist’s dick, he’ll need surgery to remove it.


30,000 Rape-aXe condoms have been handed out for free in South African cities this week and once this trial ends, they’ll retail at $1.50 each.


This is a huge problem in South Africa with one report stating that 28 per cent of men surveyed had raped a woman or girl, with one in 20 saying they had raped in the past year. This sheath will not only attempt to make these fuckers think twice about doing it, but importantly, it will help to prevent the rape victim contracting HIV.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Can I have a porno and chips please!!

Screen shot 2010-06-16 at 19.37.56

The van at the centre of the investigation. Classy.

It’s the kind of story that would bring a tear to the eye of Sir Alan Sugar – a tale of classic British entrepreneurial spirit being cut away at the knee by needless red tape and regulation.

Two men have been arrested after they allegedly gave away free porn DVDs from their burger van. Customers were offered a free bongo film with their burgers if they spent more than £5 at the van, which was operating out of a garden in Driffield, East Yorkshire.To help customers make the £5 minimum purchase required to trigger the free porn giveaway, beer was also sold from the van, in spite of the fact that neither of the arrested men had a licence for selling alcohol or hot food.

Police licensing officer PC Carolyn Grundy said: “Porn was being played on a TV inside the caravan when we arrived on Saturday night. It is unbelievable customers were being offered porn DVDs with their beer and burgers at an outlet that did not even have the necessary licences. The operation went well and we are now looking at the evidence to see what offences have been committed.”

We say… is it any wonder Britain is in the state that it’s in when a couple of enterprising young chaps can’t set up a caravan in a garden and incentivise new customers with an offer that they’ll find hard to resist?

Screw you UK PLC, screw you!

Clichés by the coffinload

I was wrong about the blogs to some extent. Craig Murray already has a piece up on the 300 deaths, noting: "We immediately have David Cameron and Liam Fox spewing out the standard propaganda about the occupation of Afghanistan making the world a safer place. This is quite simply a ludicrous proposition, and one to which the security, military and diplomatic establishments do not subscribe."

The BBC refers to this as a "tragic milestone" but what is quite stunning in this intensely political event (and it is a political rather than a military milestone) is the response of Shallow Dave. He is saying that Britain must "keep asking why" its troops are in Afghanistan. That is according to a report in The Times, with the Cleggeron leader leading the tributes to the "sacrifice" made by the 300 British service personnel who have died since operations in Afghanistan began in October 2001.

Says Dave: "It is desperately sad news: another family with such grief and pain and loss. Of course the 300th death is no more or less tragic than the 299 that came before. But it is a moment, I think, for the whole country to reflect on the incredible service and sacrifice and dedication that our Armed Services give on our behalf."

Then Dave tells us: "We are paying a high price for keeping our country safe, for making our world a safer place, and we should keep asking why we are there and how long we must be there."

To that, the man adds: "The truth is that we are there because the Afghans are not yet ready to keep their own country safe and to keep terrorists and terrorist training camps out of their country. That's why we have to be there. But as soon as they are able to take care and take security for their own country, that is when we can leave."

So the clichés are trotted out, carefully honed and polished, kept nicely chilled ready to trot out for such occasions, as meaningless now as they day they were crafted by the 16th PR Battalion of the 31st Right Wing Corps of Spinners – now officially special advisors to the Cleggerons, complete with official salaries and luncheon vouchers.

What is so offensive about all this, of course – apart from the total artificiality of the occasion - is that we have a politician telling us to ask a question: "why are our troops in Afghanistan?" Shallow hasn't quite got the hang of this politics business. We ask the questions, he gives us the answers – except, of course, he doesn't.

Even Con Coughlin thinks "it's not really good enough" for Cameron to say this. "One of the biggest disadvantages that has affected this campaign," he writes, "is the failure of our governing classes to provide clear and effective leadership, and to explain precisely why we have upwards of 10,000 British troops locked in mortal combat with the Taleban."

And, as always, in our desperately cynical age, whenever a politician starts using the word "truth", one learns to check the family silver and the contents of our wallets, certain in the knowledge that the man (or even woman) is up to no good.

The "truth" on this occasion is almost certainly nowhere near what Shallow Dave claims it to be. "We" – i.e., nearly 10,000 very expensive military personnel, several hundred officials and an unknown number of highly-paid contractors – are there because Dave hasn't yet worked out a mechanism for getting them out, and it is probably too early for him to try.

So, for the time being, young men – and the occasional woman – must be slaughtered, to absolutely no effect, to achieve nothing, a process which must continue until such time as it becomes politically convenient for the British contingent to depart. Then it will be up sticks, "job well done, chaps" and the charade of turning defeat into victory starts all over again.

With that the case, though, the very least the political classes could do is to avoid insulting our (collective) intelligence. We really do not need Liam Fox telling us that: "Our armed forces are the best in the world." Even if they were, which is doubtful, what does that mean? Best at what?

He tells us they are "operating daily in the most dangerous and demanding conditions". You don't say! "Some have made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure this essential mission succeeds," he says. Nah. Very few who look upon the prospect of their own deaths regard it as a "sacrifice" – human motivations are much more complex than that.

But then we get the money quote: "My thoughts and those of the nation's are with the families and friends of all those servicemen and women who have fallen but our resolve and determination to see the mission through remains steadfast."

No they are not. The thoughts of the nation are largely with the World Cup, with Wimbledon and with making a living – and keeping the shysters from the government and the other nobs off your back.

But it is always remarkable to hear from the politicians and generals, well clear of the front line and the dangers attendant therein, how our "resolve and determination" must remain "steadfast." So, from the rear, as they pocket their generous salaries and expenses, they say: "stand fast". That is so easy when you are not personally at risk.

Meanwhile, three Australian soldiers and one American service member were killed today in a helicopter crash in southern Afghanistan. Including the crash, at least 57 international troops, including 35 Americans, have died so far this month, a rate that could make June among the deadliest for US and other international forces in the nearly nine-year war. So far, the deadliest for the international force was July 2009 when 75 troops, including 44 Americans, were killed.

But hey! As long as the rest remain "steadfast" and act with "resolve and determination" - until the politicians pull the plug that is - everything in the garden is rosy. But one can't help but feel that if these young men and women are to spread their brains over the Afghan terrain, they deserve something better than second-hand clichés.