Sunday, 25 July 2010

It doesn't have to be Taxing?!?!


tax image 300x230 Tax to be simplified?

UK tax law is to be simplified to cut the sheer headfuckery that is endured by businesses George Osborne has said. I’m sure you’re aware that this wasn’t a direct quote. The chancellor is setting up an Office for Tax Simplification to streamline the 11,000 page tax code according to the BBC.

Georgie Boy reckons that Britain has “one of the most complex and opaque tax codes in the world” and that he wants a “permanent body to push against the forces of complication.”

Announcing this new body, Osborne said his “dream” was “that people might actually understand the tax laws which with they actually being asked to comply with”. What a boring shit. My dreams usually involve go-go dancers, exploding spaceships and robots that can play Link Wray songs.

The new body has been given the initial task of streamlining 400 tax reliefs, allowances and exemptions and simplifying the tax system for small businesses, including a simpler alternative to the IR35 code. In the case of the latter, this simplification is designed to help sole traders and freelancers.

All this looking at tax and making it more palatable won’t change tax credits. Osborne sees that as part of the benefits system, so for the time being at least, they’ll be left alone.

If you’re wondering who is going to head this up, then it is a chap who is a former Tory MP and Treasury minister called Michael Jack along with John Whiting, formerly of PricewaterhouseCoopers who is tax director at the Chartered Institute of Taxation. He’ll be the director. Neither will be paid, but they may well become Lords no doubt (legal note: This is me trying to be satirical as opposed to implying that the government – with their really ace lawyers – are crooked in any way).

In a speech, Treasury minister David Gauke said: “The tax system created by the previous government was overly complex and has made the tax affairs of millions of families and businesses across the UK extremely complicated. We need to reduce the complexities in our tax system and the coalition is committed to delivering that goal. The Office for Tax Simplification will provide important advice that will help inform us in making the right reforms to the tax system that will help to pave the way to bringing more international business to the UK, which will give our economy the boost it so urgently needs in the years ahead.”

Aren't you instilled with such confidence yet??? you gotta love the Con-Dem coalition!

The New Way of Looking Like a Tit Machine

Microsoft have unveiled the price tag for their super-terrific new motion-sensor gaming thingamajig that they’re calling Kinect. The thingamajig, that will allow you to control Xbox games games just by moving your body around as if you’re Bez from the Happy Mondays, should be launched by the end of the year.

Bitterwallet - Microsoft Kinect

If you want one, you should probably start saving up now because (brace yourselves) it’s going to set you back £129.99. Yes, that’s right, more or less what you’ll pay for an entry-level console for the added ability to play some as-yet-unmade games in a different kind of way, probably while making yourself look like a bit of a tit and incurring a hernia into the process.

That okay with you all? Yeah, thought so.

Teenager swaps rubbish mobile phone for Porsche

porsche 300x188 Teenager swaps rubbish mobile phone for Porsche

A while ago, some smart-ass managed to swap a singular red paperclip for a house. His story was a fun one, if slightly disingenuous because it was the media coverage of said story that enabled so many cool trades.

However, some clever little git who goes by the name of Steven Ortiz, didn’t have the media coverage and managed to swap (eventually), a really crappy old mobile phone for a Porsche.

The 17-year old boy used Craigslist to trade an old phone (the kind you’d bin) for an iPod Touch. He then traded that for a dirt bike… then some more dirt bikes… eventually hitting a run that included a MacBook Pro and a 1987 Toyota 4Runner.After a few more swaps, he bagged a ‘75 Ford Bronco (which is considered a collectible in some circles) which saw him being offered a Porsche Boxster.The things he turned down were just as mental. Someone offered him a locksmith business!

Read the full tale at Neatorama then curse the talented little haggling shit. It’s only a matter of time before Dave Gorman writes a book about this.