Slapheads absolutely should be allowed to park closer to the shops – that way they spend less time in public offending others with their ugly bald heads. So well done to Islington Council for taking the initiative and seeing through the excuses of so-called “blue-badge” holders. The fact is disabled people don’t need parking spaces – if they really were disabled, how could they even drive in the first place?
WARNING: The following video clip may cause you to start feverishly detesting the people in it, the iPhone, Apple, and perhaps even life itself.
We just had to sit through this a bit earlier so there’s no reason why you lot shouldn’t have to endure it as well. Share the pain and all that. It’s borne out of Halloween and in particular, Americans’ mania for dressing up for the occasion, seemingly dressing up as anything just for the hell of it.
So there’s this complete bell end then, and he’s got an iPhone costume on. But there’s more – it’s got an actual LCD screen and he’s hooked it up to his own iPhone so it looks as though the costume is a fully operational iPhone.
But it isn’t really. It’s just some smug wanker and his mate prancing about like a couple of absolute tits. Fucking despicable.
Looks as though humanity as we know it could almost be over, at least if this incredible new Japanese robot footage is anything to go by. It took us at least a minute to figure out which one of the pair was the droid in this footage.
The potential uses for something like this are limitless – company for lonely old people, a faithful re-creation of a dead relative, erm, other stuff. Obviously, as keen-eyed consumers, we’re asking the questions ‘When?’ and ‘How much?’ but it could be a while before you can pick one of these up off the shelf in Comet.
Obviously it won’t be long before they completely overthrow mankind itself and when the time comes, I will welcome our new creepy android overlords…
A deeply depressing story from the Florida Times-Union to kick off your Friday. The day will only get better after this.
A 22-year old mother in Jacksonville has pleaded guilty to second-degree murder after shaking her baby to death. Why did the mother kill her child? Because the three month-old baby boy interrupted her game of Farmville on Facebook.
So angry was the mother by being interrupted, that she picked up her baby and shook him violently- “the baby may have hit his head during the shaking”.
Farmville – listed by TIME magazine as an invention worse than the Hindenburg – has previously seen politicians sacked for their alleged addiction to the game, which is one of several earning creators Zynga over a million dollars a day in revenue.
Some people have pumpkin carving down to a fine art, making ones that look like they’re puking or have the face of Predator. However, there’s some of you who will want something a bit dirtier around Halloween.
In that event, you should buy a Pornkins set, available from the Pornkins website, which is a set of stencils, knives, an instruction sheet, a scoop and a (fnarr fnarr) poker tool. It’s on sale for $20, and obviously, it’s too close to Halloween to get one in time for this year, but definitely worth sullying the minds of the children who live on your street next year
