Find the perfect present with Stupid Secret Santa

If you’ve been forced to indulge in the annual festive bullshittery that is Secret Santa by the office twat, you’re probably just about ready to kill yourself. You have no idea what to buy Denise in accounts, or that paper pusher in horn-rimmed spectacles that shouldn’t be let near children. You’d rather not exchange air with them, never mind waste time, money and cognitive thinking on a present for them.

Well, worry no longer because help is at hand. I present Stupid Secret Santa - a dazzling array of cheap, shoddy, peculiar and downright offensive presents that are perfect for the person you couldn’t care less about.

it’s incredibly simple, too – choose how much money you can bare to put towards this false and senseless charade, and it’ll find you a present to suit. Don’t like it? Not pointless enough? Just search for another gift.

Thanks to Stupid Secret Santa, Andy is currently wearing tit push-ups and Mof has a bottle opener with a giant erection. Everyone’s a winner in my office, except for taste and decency. Go ahead and try it – honestly, it’d be difficult to put less thought into buying Christmas presents this year.

Battered Bernie quick to help flog watches

It has to be said that this probably isn’t the classiest piece of advertising we’ve ever seen. Pint-sized Formula 1 boss Bernie Ecclestone was unlucky enough to be mugged last month by four men who made off with his £200,000 Hublot watch. Perhaps they thought that the diminutive billionaire was a leprechaun, standing at the end of a rainbow.

As Hublot are the official watch-making partner of F1, sharp-thinking Bernie saw an opportunity as he recovered from his battering, suggesting to them that the sight of his clattered chops might make for an interesting advert. Voila…

I’m a bit confused though. What’s the message here – that the watch is so amazing that you’d be mad not to beat up an 80 year-old man in order to get your hands on one? Obviously not, because helpfully, i’m also informed that ‘Hublot condemns all forms of violence and racism.’

ALL forms of violence? Even the consensual stuff that Max Moseley gets involved with in London sex dungeons? Can someone please tell me what is going on? Because i’m on the brink of losing all of my respect for Formula 1 here.

When YouTube Adverts Just Aren’t Appropriate!!

You know those little pop up ads that interrupt your viewing pleasure while offering a related offer to the video you’re watching?? this one is a little off i think!!

The best travel guide you will ever read about Australia

I was talking to a relative recently who was in Dubai on business and reading a newspaper called the Khaleej Times, when a promotional booklet about Australia fell out, One page in particular tickled him.

“I think it must have been written by a disgruntled Kiwi. Perhaps you could find the author and thank him for amusing me. Needless to say I have emailed this to every Aussie I know.”

If you want a scant yet satisfying flavour of Australia’s major cities, coupled with a constant nagging reminder of the country’s convict past, this is the only travel guide we recommend.

You can see the full page here.